<h1 style="text-align: center;">Are You The Real Reason Why You Can’t Keep A Man/Woman?</h1>
<p style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://media.istockphoto.com/id/1361402145/photo/the-words-theory-and-practice-are-standing-on-pieces-of-paper-education-concept-learning-by.jpg?s=612x612&w=0&k=20&c=9juv8OQ2TLECbGyUJ_0tb9pb66fdq4qwgouNWLmRcq4=" alt="" width="900" /></p>
<p><strong>Attraction: A characteristic or quality that provides pleasure.</strong></p>
<p>This definition has been taken from Dictionary.com. It basically defines attraction as being a quality that one enjoys in something or more importantly someone. What makes a person attractive? The answer to this varies by individuals. What one<span id="more-6455"></span> person finds attractive another might find revolting. In fact, people become so subconsciously attached to their own definition of what is attractive that they find themselves dating the same person over and over. They date different individuals but they are all the same type of people with either similar personality traits or a similar look.</p>
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<p>Which leads me to ask the question: Can you control what you are attracted to? For instance if you are a person who is attracted to people who are emotionally unavailable, even though you crave a connection with your partner. Can you curve that attraction? I would think that if one tried they could curve what they found to be attractive if they truly thought it was self destructive to themselves. Then again, not everyone is that self aware. Unfortunately.</p>
<p>In my opinion you can curve what you are attracted to if you make a conscious effort to do so. For instance when I was much younger, I would go for the “bad boy” type. The type that was a trouble maker and needed guidance and to be told his life was worthwhile instead of having that quality within himself to begin with. In other words, I liked dating thugs. After many failed relationships I soon learned that this type of male was not a good fit for my personality. Sure I was an urban teenager as they were, but I was also book smart, clean cut, had a solid family upbringing, sweet and over all, a good girl. Luckily, I forced myself to get over this attraction. In other words, I grew out of the dumb s**t. I will admit that my attraction to this type of guy also had a lot to do with my upbringing. I grew up on the west side of Chicago and in my neighborhood, much of my male peers were thugs who had one thing on their mind. I guarantee it wasn’t reading a book with me. However, this was all I had readily available to me so this was all I thought existed. It wasn’t until I attended college and had the opportunity to branch out further than my neighborhood and immediate surroundings that I met other types of guys. Guys who did not come with a wrap sheet or a chronic marijuana habit.</p>
<p>Broadening my horizons felt good. It was an eye opener to something I never new existed. So yes, I do believe that you can curve what you are attracted to. It might take a change of environment and internal growth coupled with the desire to want to seek variety. However it is possible.</p>
<p>My Uncle once told me that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. He couldn’t have been more correct. Is what you are attracted to causing you problems? It might be time to stop blaming all of the different men or women who hurt you and broke your po’ lil heart. If you keep dating Sheniqua’s and they keep playing the s**t out of you then maybe it is time for an upgrade brotha. Ladies, if every guy you date can’t keep a job or simply refuses to work then maybe it is time to stop calling all men lazy and upgrade your standards. In both cases it is time to take a long hard look at self and decide if YOU are a bigger part of your relationship problems than you once believed.</p>